We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
