i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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