booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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