wake up i wanna do it froggy style
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
