based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
