So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
