Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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