I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize