How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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