Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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