I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
