summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
my sisters under your porch take her home
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
