How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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