I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
God gave him joint rollers for hands
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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