Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
