I am puke
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I have aggressive nipples.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
