i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
