So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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