me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
