wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Is Oprah even human
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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