I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
