It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
