I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
