the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
