Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
