Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
