I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I am midnight drunk by noon
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
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