Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
