yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Sex in the backyard? Check.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
