You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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