apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
