I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Randomize
