I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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