Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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