So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
