It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
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