Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
