I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
