thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
