just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
