Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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