You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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