I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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