some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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