:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
