god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
