I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
