After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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