Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize