so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
