STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
