I faked an abortion last night.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
