One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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