I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
