If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Randomize