I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
