Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Life is so much better after having sex.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Randomize
