I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
