If i come over, it means nothing
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i just had sex bonerless
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
