She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
