It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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