You're my little dorito
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
