My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
i out mim tonsoeep
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