You're my little dorito
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
