just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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